10 Body Spots Your Man Wants You to Touch him

The human touch has incredible potential. The hand is a point of contact that has benefits — physiologically, emotionally, and even spiritually.

Maybe it’s a good time to remind wives how meaningful their touch is to their husbands. Sometimes wives can allow a distance in their relationship with their husband because of his rough exterior or his lack of emotion.

I hope to encourage you to reach for your man and let him know how much he means to you. Sharing your soft touch with him will certainly soften up his demeanor. Here are seven meaningful touches your man is waiting for:

1. Neck: Neck is a sensitive area and has several nerve endings. A sudden light touch can give him an instant shiver. Next time give him gentle and breathy kisses to get him going.

2. Ear: It’s amazing how even a simple whisper in the ear can drive your man crazy, so imagine if you use a little tongue. That will turn him on even more. Start by talking s.exy in a soft tone in his ears and follow it up with some tongue action.

3. Behind the ears: Don’t limit your whispering and licking to inside the ear but also explore the area behind his ear, earlobe and top of the ear. Bite the top of the earlobe lightly or breathe deep behind his ear next time. It will definitely drive him crazy.

4. But.t: The butt is one of the most sensitive and highly ignored areas. Arouse him with a little smack when he is least expecting it. Pro tip: Massage his butt when you’re going down on him.

5. Skin: Skin plays an important role in the arousal process. It’s the largest organ involved during s.ex. Rubbing and touching his skin improves blood circulation which leads to arousal. So, touch as many parts of your partner’s skin as possible while in the sack. You could start with a massage and keep the heat going by running your hands up and down his back, arms and stomach during s.ex.

6. Feet: Giving a foot massage to your guy will not only turn him on but will also show how much you care about him. Foot massages are a great balance of erotic and romantic. Next time your man comes home tired after a long day, surprise him with a foot massage and he might surprise you with a s.exy time.

7. Tongue: It’s no surprise how erotic and sensual a deep kiss is. It’s the simplest way to turn on your man. Don’t just stick to the same tongue motion and rhythm but spice things up by mixing it up. You could start by circling your tongue around his or lightly sucking on his tongue.

8. Lips: Like we mentioned in the previous point, kissing is a great way to spice things up. But, it isn’t the only way to make his mouth happy. You can tease him by licking, sucking and biting his lips. Be prepared for an intense night.

9. Inner thighs: While his s.ex organ is obviously the most erogenous part of his body, don’t shy away from exploring the area around his package. The inner thighs are extremely sensitive areas; maximise pleasure with a little stroking and licking.

10. Face:10 Body Spots Your Man Wants You to Touch him Have you noticed in movies how a guy gets all crazy when a girl lightly strokes his face with her fingers? Yes, that! Men get turned on by the slightest touch on their face. So next time you’re kissing, sharing a joke or having se.x, don’t ignore his face.

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Filed Under: relationship talk, ROMANCE Friday, 12 June 2015 No Comments

How to Meet the Right Person Online

Today, meeting a romantic partner through an online service is commonplace.  In fact, a recent survey showed that 1 in 5 couples that have married in the last three years met each other through an online dating site.  What is even more amazing is that twice as many married couples met online than in bars, at clubs, or at other social events – combined.
The reason is simple – it works.
Today, online dating has become a huge, highly developed industry.  If you haven't tried it recently, you might be in for quite a surprise at how sophisticated and effective certain online dating services have now become.
And one company in particular, Match.com has grown to become the pre-eminant online dating service.
So, why are so many intelligent, successful singles meeting other great singles online today?
Firstly, online dating lets you get to know the basics about someone before deciding if you want to invest any time in them.  And, studies have proven that communicating online before meeting someone face-to-face significantly reduces the stress involved in your first meeting, leading to more great first dates.
The online dating process also lets people spot potential red flags before they set up a date.  It sure beats getting involved with someone and then discovering something that’s a real deal-breaker for you.
And, contrary to what some may think, research has also shown that people are generally honest about themselves online.  Most people know they will have to expose themselves at some point, so they choose to be honest, rather than disingenuous, when creating their online profiles.
Industry leader Match.com, which was launched in 1995, specializes in creating romantic opportunities so that singles are more likely to find someone special. Over the years, they’ve continued to refine their tools in order to take the lottery out of love.
One of the reasons the service is so successful is because they give singles the opportunity to express themselves and find potential online matches for free.  They allow new members to set up a profile that can include up to 26 photos, as well as selected preferences regarding the person they’re searching for.
Then, tell Match.com a little about yourself and what you're looking for in a partner and relationship.  With the click of a mouse, you instantly get to see photos and read about potential matches in your area; all free and incredibly easy.
When you subscribe, you become entitled to view all the photos of singles you are interested in, send unlimited emails, and even see who's been viewing your profile and shown an interest in you. You have more choices, more ways to connect, and more chances to find your love match.
Match.com puts a lot of emphasis on member privacy and integrity. All communication between members on Match.com happens through an “anonymous” email network. The names and contact information of all members are kept confidential until the member personally decides to share the information with a potential match. And, every profile and photo is screened by the site before it’s posted online.
Who can you meet on Match.com? People just like you, in your local area.  But, also much more!  Match.com members form a diverse, global community of singles who share common goals—to meet other singles, find dates, form romantic relationships, and meet life partners.
Click here to see profiles and pictures of singles in your area.  Sign up for Match.com today!

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Filed Under: relationship talk Thursday, 11 June 2015 No Comments

10 Things to pay attention to when raising a child

We want to give our children the best. We would love to give our children all the things we never got to have. But sometimes parents go too far with the way they show their affection. And this doesn’t bring the best out of our kids. Before things get out of hand, pay attention to the points listed below.

1. Making them feel like kings.

It is important to make your kids feel special, but losing your authority to them will only have negative consequences. Asserting your authority means establishing borders, boundaries and limitations as you raise them. Although it is vital to entrust them with certain responsibilities, it is your duty as the parent to guide them through it and make a success of whatever they are given.

2. Entrusting them with too much money.

Money is a tool; it is never an ornament. The earlier you make them understand this, the better off your kids will be. Although we live in a time of abundance and so many easy options and access, it is your job to manage resources, however abundant. Entrusting them with a million dollars or buying expensive jewelry for them in their early years will be too much for them to handle, and the end result will be a child who is not thankful for anything.

3. Stopping them from working.

Work is essential in life. Every responsible adult has to work to earn a living. Making them understand this is beneficial to their success as adults. Understandably you may want to protect them from anything that is laborious but teaching them the vital lesson of work will be more protective than destructive. Set expectations for them as they try to go to college. Let them appreciate earning something of value and feeling proud of this.

4. Encouraging them not to give back.

One of the most essential lessons my parents taught me was why I should give back. That is the flow of life. You take and you give. Do not hold your children back from wanting to reach out and volunteer whether in deeds or in charity.

4. Not requiring them to be grateful.

You may feel your child deserves everything he/she receives and owes no one a thing. But this does not stir an appreciative spirit in them. Words like “thank you” have a way of making them understand the importance of everything they are given.

5. Acting like a spoiled child before them.

We as parents are supposed to lead by example. Our children should see that responsibility in us, that we are firm and tact. We shouldn’t be whining and complaining about everything in front of them.

6. Failing to establish boundaries.

By nature kids want to be pampered and spoiled. It is not your duty as parents to make this happen. Rather, you are meant to make sure they become well-behaved and likable. To do this, limitations and restrictions are meant to be established; if not, the child becomes disrespectful and rude.

7. Letting them have their way all the time.

It is all about picking what you should be giving to them and what you shouldn’t. There is a difference with wanting a new gadget or having candy. It is left for you to choose those things they should have their way with and those things they shouldn’t.

8. Offering them gifts for the wrong reasons.

If your child is bored with the old toy you bought for him/her and you have to offer a new one as a way to stop them from whining, you are offering them gifts for the wrong reasons. Gifts should be offered to show they are deserving of it and they have shown they are responsible enough to handle and manage them.

9. Discouraging relationships that will build them up.

It is not about being with other spoiled kids. Sometimes it serves you wonderful benefits to take them to gatherings of older people who will share insightful knowledge with them. Let them see the benefits in being thankful. Invite people who are participating in volunteer work to your homes. Stifling the child in unhealthy relationships spoils the child.

10. Withholding your child from being accountable.

Your child should be accountable for his/her actions. Yes your child will make mistakes, but not holding them accountable for these mistakes doesn’t make them see the importance of learning from mistakes.

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Filed Under: Lifestyle, relationship talk Friday, 8 May 2015 No Comments

Signs You’re Being Taken For Granted in Your Relationship

Nobody loves to be taken for granted but the funny part of this is that, some people do take others for granted whereas they don’t want to be taken for granted. It is the kind of world we are living and we should learn to do to others what we can accept and when such thing is being done to us, we should gladly accept it.

In relationship, anyone taking his or her partner for granted will never experiences the true meaning of being in relationship. The romantic desire can be easily eroded once partner fail to acknowledge his or her partner’s effort in trying to make the relationship work.

And for you not to be taken for granted and end up miserable and useless in the relationship, even if you’re the one who is more giving and showing greater love in the relationship, you’ll need to be an observant with these tell-tale signs of being taken for granted.

If one thing is acceptable for your partner but when it’s you, it’s no go area

This is a situation where, when you do something, your partner is never happy about it, but when the same thing is done by him, it is very ok, no complain. You’re being taken for granted and such issue need to be discussed. What is good for the goose is also good for the gander, so why will something acceptable for him when it’s coming from his side but never acceptable when it’s coming on your side.

If your partner stop appreciating your or he’s never reciprocating good gesture

There’re things you do maybe at the beginning of your relationship and whenever you do such thing, you’re always being appreciated and there’s no any good gesture from you that your partner never reciprocated. But now, when you call, your partner never calls back or text back even when you know that he/she is not busy. Don’t you think you’re being taken for granted?

You’re not being appreciated in the relationship anymore and that make you feel used and disrespected because your sacrifice for the relationship don’t count anymore. You’re just being ignored for your good deeds, and only when such partner needs something from you, that he/she remembers to appreciate your effort. My dear, you’re being taken from granted and you have to iron it out with your partner now or never. [Read; How to make your girlfriend feel appreciated]

The blame is always on any of your mistake

When you try harder and ensure you please your partner and treat him/her very well with love and affection but your partner seems to be blinded and allow your good deeds to goes unnoticed even when it’s very clear for anyone to see. But whenever you make any single mistake, that’s what your partner will always remember and use it as a point of reference whenever you have issues. You’re just being taken for granted and you need to address this issue, else your relationship might not go well as you’ve always wanted.

Did you know of any other ways partners are being taken for granted? Please share with us and your contribution will be greatly appreciated. Make use of the comment form below and don’t forget to share this post using any of the social networking icons below.

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Filed Under: relationship talk Tuesday, 5 May 2015 No Comments

10 Simple But Powerful Romantic Surprises That Will Spark Up Your Love Life

A huge relationship misconception is that love can be bought. And while money may certainly help, small surprises can make the same, if not more, of an impact. They tell the person you’re with that they’re worth a little bit of planning to show that you care.

You can’t go wrong with the classic “good morning” text, but here are a few other ideas to surprise the love of your life and be good to your wallet.
As the saying goes, actions speak louder than words. Candles, notes and candy do, too.

Here are 10 Simple Romantic Surprises  For You :

1. Leave them a paper trail that leads to a cuddly surprise.
2. Tell them how much you love them in cute little paper stars.
3. Can’t go wrong with candle letters and flower petals.
4. Spell out “ILU” with their favorite items.
5. Change their alarm text to something adorable for an instantaneous morning text.
6. Write out how much you love them in a window.
7. Put hearts on their sandwich before you give it to them.
8. Serve them a delicious breakfast in bed.
9. Create a romantic ambience before they take a bath or shower.
10 Leave them heart-fluttering lunch notes.

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7 Warning Signs You’re Dating Mr. Wrong

1. He always make plans at the last minute.

He may have several rods on the fire and you might not be his favorite rod. It’s an obvious sign that you’re with Mr. Wrong if you pop into his head only after nothing else comes along. Some men like to keep their options open. They have several choices available and don’t want to commit to a date too soon in the event that something better might come along. If you find yourself frequently waiting on his call, then this may be sign to move on.

2. He’s not taking an active role in becoming part of your world.

If a man is serious about you, he will usually make the effort to get to know the people who are important to you and become more immersed into your life. Whether it’s your friends or family, he will want it to be known that he is your man and he will usually try his best to make a good impression. If he doesn’t care about that, it is a warning signal that he’s not he right guy for you.

3. He doesn’t go to events that are important to you.

Once in awhile if he has a good excuse or is actually sick and that is, of course, understandable. If you see a pattern, however, it may be time to call it quits. Assuming you are not overly demanding, something that is important to you should be important to him. If it is not, then it might be a sign that either he is not that into you, he prefers his friends to you, or he is simply too self-centered to take time away from his life for you. Either way, pay attention to the signs and decide if you feel you are worthy of more.

4. He stays in very close contact with his single friends.

If after dating for a while, your man is still going out with his single friends doing things together as single guys, you can be fairly certain he is not going to give up the single life. If it seems like he continues to get close to you, but his friends are never far behind, this may be a warning sign. Of course, you don’t want your guy to give up his friends entirely, but if they are the source of his free time and you are merely a backup, it may be a sign of trouble. Same goes if he insists that you spend most of your time together hanging out with his buddies.

The same is true if it seems like your man has a lot of single female friends that he likes to spend time with or even keeps in touch with a bit too frequently.

5. Night time is the right time… all the time.

If he loves the nightlife and the nightlife loves him even after you have been dating for a while, this might just be his way of life. If this is your way of life, then you have just met your soulmate. However, historically when couples first start dating they tend to go out a lot, stay out late, and dance the night away. Once you settle in, though, and get closer in the relationship, the pendulum swings to more quiet nights at home and romantic dinners. If this is the time when you were hoping the pendulum would swing, but it hasn’t, then it could be a warning sign. Don’t ask or expect him to change if that is who he is and what makes him happy. Accept the fact that you may want different things and it may be time to send this one back and explore the other “fish in the sea”.

6. You never see him more then once a week (sometimes twice), even after you have been dating several months.

Is he really super busy or are you play toy number 7? Don’t be naive and think he is sitting home alone 6 nights of the week. If this is acceptable to you, then by all means enjoy your time together when it happens. But if not, deem it a warning sign.

7. Your friends tell you you’ve changed.

If your friends tell you that you’ve changed since your new relationship, that is a huge warning sign. If you feel like you’re now watching how you act or what you say based on your partner, this is not good at all.  And it’s a big warning sign, if you don’t feel relaxed around him even after dating for a while. Being who you truly are is essential to a healthy relationship.

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Filed Under: MARRIAGE & RELATIONSHIP, relationship talk Thursday, 30 April 2015 No Comments

9 Foundational truths of relationship

Then when the winds come, the whole fizzle fades away, and the cycle starts again.

Your relationship is like a building. The deeper the foundation, the higher the building will go.

There are some foundational relationship truths most couples overlook. They just see each other and jump in bed, all in the name of love.

Then when the winds come, the whole fizzle fades away, and the cycle starts again.

Here are some foundational relationship truths for you to build your relationship.

1. Effective communication is vital in every relationship. This kind of communication involves listening carefully and decoding what is being said. Giving rapt attention to the speaker. Not to throw your defence after he or she finishes. It involves your body language. Face to face communication cannot be underplayed. Especially in these days where there are a lot of social media platforms.

2. Always put your partner first. Some think it is being foolish. Relationship is about sacrifice. If you are not ready to sacrifice your time and resources, wait till you are grown. This act build trust faster.

3. Get to know each other beyond the cozy environment of the eatery. Ask vital and thought provoking questions, regarding ambitions, future plans and financial goals. Including family background and parental approval.

4. Parental approval is very important. Do not continue with a relationship if your partner’s parents disapprove of. It will hurt you in future.

5. Love is not sex. Delay gratification till the wedding night. It will help you differentiate between love and lust.

6. Read books that will improve your life and relationship. It is all about what you are bringing to the table. Be informed.

7. Have a goal for your marriage and family. What do you want your family to be known for? How many kids do you want to have? What impact will your family make? Money?

8. Show respect to each other. Do not compare.

9. Have a mentor that can counsel both of you. This mentor should also hold you accountable at all times and support you in prayers. He or she should be somebody you respect and honor.

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Filed Under: love, relationship talk Monday, 27 April 2015 No Comments

How to Win a Girl’s Heart and Impress Her Effortlessly

Winning a girl’s heart takes effort. It isn’t about saying what’s on your mind to the girl you like.

In fact, it’s the other way around.

The art of winning a girl’s heart is all about making the girl you like fall in love with you without telling her that you like her in the first place.

You need to get to know her better, and then, you need to make her see you as a dating potential.

If you don’t know her yet, make sure you get her attention the right way.

And once you do get her attention, all you need to do is talk and charm your way into her heart.

How to win a girl’s heart effortlessly

Most guys make the genuine mistake of playing the game of winning hearts with their heart.

Of course, when you’re in love with a girl, you can’t do anything but think with your heart.

But if you really want to win a girl’s heart, you need to learn to still your heart, and play the game of hearts with your mind.

Don’t let your emotions control the things you do and the way you express yourself, especially when she doesn’t like you back yet.

You may end up portraying yourself like a clingy or creepy guy who’s desperately trying to win her attention.

Instead of trying hard to make her like you, just try to make her enjoy being with you.

Before you know it, she’ll be addicted to talking to you and spending time with you.

9 steps to win the heart of a girl you like

Ever wondered why some guys are such charmers? They seem to win the affection of all the girls all the time. You can be that guy too, as long as you understand what it takes to win a girl’s heart.

Use these 9 steps on how to win a girl’s heart, and you’ll surely be on your way to impressing the girl you like effortlessly.

#1 Be a great guy. Let’s face it, if you want to date a great girl who’s desired by several guys, you need to be a great guy too. Here’s a great test to find out if you’re in the big league of guys. When you walk into a room full of guys, do you feel like you’re the coolest cat in the room? Or do you look at a few other guys in awe because they seem so much more awesome?

If you think another guy is cooler, or if you admire a few qualities about another guy you meet, it only means you’re lacking that quality yourself in comparison with that guy. Each time you see a guy who seems *cooler* than you, work on that particular trait so you can get better at it over time. It’s the safest way to improve your own personality in the direction you really want.

#2 Talk to her. Make her feel special when she’s around you. It doesn’t matter if there are several other guys who are trying to get her attention. All that matters is what you’re doing to win her heart. Talk to her warmly when you bump into her, and let her know that you’re happy to see her.

#3 Flirt with her. Flirting with a girl whose heart you’re trying to win is a subtle art. You can either make it obvious that you’re flirting with her, or you can be discreet and subtle. Flirt with her discreetly to begin with, and if she reciprocates by flirting back, you can start to get more obvious.

If you want to flirt with her, try to get some alone time with her whenever you can, and avoid flirting with her when there are others around. Flirting with her when her friends are around will make your flirty lines seem like a joke. Save the compliments and the smooth talking for private conversations.

#4 Don’t be clouded by emotions. You know you like her, but she doesn’t know it yet. If you feel like your chances are slipping or there’s no reciprocation from her end, don’t get reckless. Most guys think with their heart and end up professing their love for a girl when she’s just not interested in dating them. Don’t be that guy. Just make sure you stay out of the friend zone, and avoid telling her that you like her unless you know she likes you already.

#5 Don’t be threatened by the competition. Always think twice before you say something to her, especially if it’s not something pleasant or if it’s about another guy. If she’s been ignoring your calls, or if she gives all her attention to another guy in the cafeteria, don’t behave like a little brat and sulk in the corner. And most importantly, don’t confront her about it. She doesn’t owe you any explanations. Remember, winning her heart is a challenge, and every now and then, you’ll have to deal with other guys who want to impress her.

#6 Occupy her thoughts at night. The night time is the best time to build the intimacy. Start off by texting her now and then in the evenings, and work your way to calling her at night occasionally. Talk about things that interest her, and over time, she’ll warm up to you and even look forward to talking to you every night.

If you know another guy who calls this girl often, call her half an hour earlier and try to create an interesting conversation. If she likes talking to you, she’ll probably disconnect the other guy’s call if she’s having a great conversation with you.

#7 Open up to her. The best way to build a bond with the girl you like is by building a secret relationship that no one else knows about. By flirting with her only when it’s just the both of you and by talking to each other late at night, it would be a secret flirty affair only the two of you know about, and that would make the whole relationship so much more exciting and mysterious.

Now take that to the next level. When you’re talking to this girl late at night, tell her a few of your secrets that not many people know about, preferably about your past relationships *both of you will end up talking about sex within a few nights* or a few trivial difficulties you’re having with someone she doesn’t know about *she’ll give you advise on how to deal with that person, and would want an update every night*.

The more she knows about your personal details, the more easily she’ll start talking about her own secrets. And once she starts doing that, she’ll start to feel closer to you, and think about you often too. As long as you avoid talking about something sad or gloomy, she’ll always be excited to stretch the conversation with you.

#8 Win over her friends. If you do know most of her friends, try to be nice to them. This isn’t really necessary, but it can help you score brownie points if she ever does discuss about you with her friends.

So does the girl whose heart you’re trying to win have a best friend? If she does have a best friend, then that’s the girl you need to please. Be nice to her best friend and get friendly with her too. And when her best friend becomes a good friend of yours, *accidentally* slip the word out that you like the girl. As long as you’ve impressed her best friend, she’ll turn into your evangelist and convince the girl you like to start dating you because you’re such an awesome catch!

#9 Get her addicted to you. Unless you know she’s crazy about you already, don’t tell her you’ve fallen for her. Focus on having a good time with her, but at the same time, don’t try too hard to impress her. When you make it obvious that you’re trying to win her heart by buying her flowers or saying something romantic, you kill the mystery. Let her wonder about what you think of her. Compliment her, tell her you miss not having her around, and even tell her that you wish she was with you, but don’t tell her you like her just yet.

And once you know that she’s definitely into you and likes you back, tell her what’s on your mind.

As long as you fall in love with your heart, and think with your head while impressing her, you could use these 9 steps on how to win a girl’s heart and make her fall in love with you in no time.

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Filed Under: relationship talk, ROMANCE Friday, 24 April 2015 No Comments

Nine Tips On How To Find Future Husband & Wife

One of the hardest things in the life of single men and ladies is finding a future partner with great chemistry. Making a choice plays dominant role in life after marriage. Every single soul in search of responsible partner should try and read  Nine tips on how to find future husband & wife below:

1. Make a list: First of all, list out those qualities you are looking for in a man or woman of your dream.

2. Look in places where you would expect to find him or her: There are good men and ladies out there, you simply need to know where to look for them. For instance, If you want a religious partner, you’ll be more apt to find him/her in church/Islamic gathering than in a Night Clubs

3. Avoid excessive talking: Excessive talking can be socially embarrassing. Some ladies and men dislike women/men who don’t know when to communicate and when to shut up. Be a good listener. Men/ladies like to be listened to.

4. Dress nice: Wear clothes that flatter your figure. Look like you put some thought and effort into what you’re wearing. If your look is well-kept, you’ll be more likely to attract a your future partner no matter what your general style is.

5. Always Wear a smile on your face: Smiling face looks much appealing and beautiful. Give away your smiles freely and in abundance because you never know who’s falling in love with your smile.

6. Exercise: Exercise can help prevent excess weight gain or help maintain weight loss, thereby keeping you healthy, fit and happy. Sure, Everyone want a partner who is fit and healthy.

7. Gratitude: Always show gratitude to people even when they are least expecting it. Putting a little gratitude in our daily life is a first step to achieving many of our hopes & dreams. Be appreciative.

8. Be yourself: To be yourself you need to find your true self. Know your personal values and cultivate positive beliefs about yourself. Never change yourself to captivate your future partner. Let him/her know your real self

9. Be patient: Dont rush into relationship when you arent ripe for it. Take your time to study your potential partner.

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Filed Under: MARRIAGE & RELATIONSHIP, relationship talk Thursday, 23 April 2015 No Comments

7 Things not to do if your husband is cheating

It is painful when a loved one cheats on you. The world seems to slow down everything else fades away.

For women, the thought of how much they have invested and the deceit races through their minds.

Here are some things that could further push your man away.

1. Investigating about the other woman: The truth hurts sometimes. Just avoid the stress and focus on winning your man back.

2. Insulting your husband: You will eventually give him a reason to make up his mind.

3. Insulting the woman: By doing this, you are just giving her the spotlight she does not deserve.

4. Asking him to choose between you and the other woman:Your husband really wants to be with you. Asking him to choose is a big mistake.

5. Monitoring him like a baby: He will begin to avoid your calls. Men want their privacy sometimes.

6. Fighting the other woman: Don’t act like a tout. People will end up blaming you. You might even get hurt.

7. Leaving your matrimonial home: BIG!! Mistake. He will bring her in.

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7 reasons couples fight so much during traveling (and how to fix it)

• My husband and I love to travel. We started when we were dating, and have made it a priority in our marriage to fit in at least a trip each year.
  Early in our relationship almost every trip had a pretty big fight somewhere in it. We'd get over the fight, but I started to expect them rather than prevent them. Eventually, I decided to get to the bottom of why we were fighting. Once I knew what may spark a fight, I was better able to prevent them.
  Now are pretty much argument free with our travels. The main reasons we fought were the following:

• 1. Stress

  Traveling can be stressful. Not only are you going away from home and what is familiar, but a lot can go wrong when you travel.
  You may get lost, forget something, have an inaccurate reservation, or a whole other list of things. This stress can affect your experience and even cause fighting between couples.
  Be responsible and prepared, but also remember that things happen that are out of your control. Take it easy, go with the flow and enjoy the experience. If needed, schedule a day into your vacation with no activities planned. Not only will it give you a chance to slow it down and relax, but if something does come up it gives you extra time to get things figured out.

• 2. Not being prepared

  This can be a huge reason for contention between a couple. While you can't plan for everything, it is important to be organized, try to foresee any potential problems, and be knowledgeable about where you are going. Gather your important documents weeks before your trip. Do not wait until the night before you leave to look for your husband's green card, child's birth certificate or your passport. You will have no time to get replacements if you can't find them. Just in case you don't get internet service where you are going, keep a hard copy of all your confirmation numbers and itineraries.
  Do research on where you are traveling before you go. Map out how you will get around (bus routes, subways, etc.), and culture differences you should know before you go.

• 3. Finances

  Finances can be a point of contention even when you are not traveling, so it is extremely important to discuss your budget with your spouse before you go. Have a plan for unexpected costs that may occur. How much you will spend on food, activities, lodging, transportation and souvenirs? It's okay to over plan in this area. Keep track of what you spend during your trip so you do not go over your budget.

• 4. Expectations

  Everyone has certain expectations when they travel. This includes certain places they want to go, things they want to do, and how much money they will spend. If you are not on the same page as your spouse, it can cause issues. Talk about your trip before you go. Make a list of the top things each of you wants to do and figure out how to meet both of your expectations. Knowing what each of you expect can prevent a lot of miscommunication and disappointment during your vacation.

• 5. Back seat driving

  When you travel you tend to spend more time with your spouse than you normally do. You are together pretty much the entire time. There are no jobs, car pools or appointments to break up your time together.
  All this time may lead to nit picking or even literal backseat driving. After an extended period of time this can ware on a couple. If you find yourself getting overly annoyed or frustrated with your spouse take a time out. Meditate, read a book, or soak in the tub. Make sure you let your spouse know you just need some personal time and it is not something they did that upset you.

• 6. Exhaustion

  Vacations are easy to pack full of activities, sightseeing and very little sleep. This is exhausting, which may result in short tempers and fights. You do not want to miss anything, but keep in mind your body can only handle so much. Fit in activities that will help you slow down and relax. A calm boat ride, a couple's massage, or even a leisurely walk can help you to rest a bit and reconnect with your spouse while still experiencing the area you are in.

• 7. Looking for blame

  It is inevitable that something unexpected will come up. Learn how to move on from these events and not spend time placing blame or finding the reason behind how it happened. That will only make the problem worse. Even if it is obviously someone's fault, don't dwell on it. We make mistakes, hopefully learn from them and are more prepared for what not to do on the next trip. When all else fails, remember you are on vacation. You're here to enjoy yourself, and fighting with your spouse will take away from the good times you could be having.
  All of these different factors played a role in the fights I had with my husband while traveling. While it has taken time to learn from our mistakes, we are a lot better about planning, being prepared, taking time to relax and we now know how each other will react to certain situations and how to deal with it correctly. Hopefully you can learn from our experiences so you can stop fighting and start enjoying your trips together even more.

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Filed Under: Marriage, relationship talk Sunday, 19 April 2015 No Comments

8 silent ways your hubby is screaming 'I love you!'

• Husbands get a bad rap for their inability to express themselves, especially when it comes to saying those three simple words: "I love you." Your husband may tell you he loves you as he's leaving for work or before he says good night, but sudden, spur-of-the-moment expressions of his most inner romantic feelings are not something a man shares on a regular basis. Believe it or not, sharing delicate emotions just isn't a common characteristic of the average male.
  Wives, don't let your husbands' lack of words discourage you. While words are very important, expressions of love aren't always given aloud. When your hubby's lips are silent, he screams "I love you" in the things he does for you. Some of his actions are easy to dismiss because they are small and simple, but when you look at them from his perspective, you'll see the sacrifice he's really making. Here are eight ways your husband is screaming he loves you — and you might be missing them.

• He lets you choose

  If you go out to the movies and your husband lets you choose the movie, he is letting you know that what you want is important to him. Similarly, if he lets you choose dinner, the color of your next car, the destination of your next vacation ... he is telling you — very loudly — that he loves you and that you matter to him.

• He helps out around the house

  When my husband comes home after a long day at work and pitches in to help me finish dinner and do the dishes, I know he is saying "I love you." I have seen him mop the floors, scrub the toilet, organize the pantry, fold my personal laundry and complete a honey-do list a mile long — all in the name of love. If your husband helps around the house, he doesn't do it out of duty or to show off to his friends. He does it because he knows it will lessen your load.

• He asks for your advice

  When your husband asks for your advice, not only is he telling you that he loves you but he is also telling you that he trusts you to give him guidance. It is difficult for many men to open up and ask others for help, so if your man has come to you seeking advice, feel honored, trusted and very much loved. He has placed you in a very small circle of people whom he feels he can open up to. In essence, he is saying, "I love you, and I know I can open up to you without fear of judgment."

• He holds your hand

  Whether out in public or home alone, when your man holds your hand, he is saying "I love you." Holding hands is a simple expression of genuine love. It is physical touch without sexual innuendo. It is love in its simplest form. It is the quickest and easiest action your husband can do to express the feelings he has in his heart.

• He helps with the shopping

  Whether he's shopping by your side or picking something up on the way home, if your husband is willing to shop til' he drops, he is saying "I love you." I used to always ask my husband to stop by the store on the way home, and because he was always willing to do it, I never really thought about the sacrifice he was making. Only recently did I discover that my husband doesn't really like grocery shopping, that he only does it because he loves me and knows I don't like grocery shopping either. If your husband is willing to help you do the things you don't like to do (especially when he's not so fond of those things himself), he is practically screaming his affection.

• He listens to your frustrations

  I'm just going to say it. The majority of women have a lot they like to complain about (myself included). If your husband is willing listen to your frustrations — and even offer encouragement — he is really saying "I love you." A man who is willing to sit and listen, especially when he has heard the same complaint over and over again, should certainly be recognized.

• He smiles at you

  A smile, like holding hands, is such a simple gesture, but it speaks volumes. A simple, sincere smile has the power to take a woman's breath away. Remember when you first met your husband — how his smile affected you. Keep that memory close because, each time your hubby smiles at you, he reaffirms every loving word he's ever said to you. Not only does that sincere smile say "I love you," it says, "You make me happy."

• He gives you a piece of himself

  Whether it's a compliment, a gift he's purchased or a loving glance, when your husband takes the time to give you something that has come directly from him, he is saying "I love you." Even when he gives you a gift that is completely off the mark, the act of giving shows that you are on his mind.
  The words may not always be said, but if you listen with your eyes, you'll find that your husband is screaming "I love you."

credit:familyshare

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Filed Under: love, Marriage, relationship talk No Comments