Why single women are rude to ugly guys...after being hurt by good-looking ones

                We love to be valued but most of us don't value others

Humans can be hypocritical when it comes to dating and showing love to others.

We love to be valued but most of us don't value others  and we wish more attention is given to us. Unfortunately when we find out it case isn't so, our feelings get hurt and we tend to be rude to others.

Nicole Weaver of YourTango says that according to a new study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science, single women turn down unattractive men after being rejected themselves by an attractive man.

Weaver says that researchers had 300 single, undergraduate women create an online dating profile. They then set up the experiment for two men (one attractive and one unattractive) to look at their profile first, and then the women got to choose been the two. If the two picked each other, they were to then meet up.

The results show that women were more interested in the unattractive man, as well, if both of them were into her. However, if the attractive man took a hard pass on her, she was uninterested in both the attractive and the unattractive men.

Yikes, what's going on? Insecurity, much?

"Being affiliated with an unattractive man would make those women feel like that's the kind of man they 'deserve,' which puts their larger social goals at risk," says lead author Dr. Greg MacDonald.

Of course, the ladies aren't the only ones who are guilty of this. Louis C.K. tackled this very issue on his show, Louie. He comes across an overweight girl who is very into him, but he is very standoffish. She then puts it all on the table saying he's just scared that he should be with someone who looks like her.

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Filed Under: love Tuesday, 16 June 2015 No Comments

How to make your girlfriend Feel Appreciated

How Much Trust Do You Need For A Successful Relationship

Trust is one of the attributes needed in every relationship, no matter how small it is, the absence of which show no love in that relationship. Can partners completely trust each other in a relationship, knowing fully well that no one is perfect, yet continue to entrust your emotional connection with one another.

Trusting your partner is just like, when a father is playing with his little son, he throws him into the air and catches him, and whenever the father does it, the child keeps laughing and smiling while in the air with no hand guiding him. The child knows that his father is there to catch him up, he can’t fall and he just trust him without entertaining any form of fears or apprehension. This is a complete trust from the child to the father.

Can the relationship between partners in love be based on such trust from the son to the father?

It is a difficult question to answer, just maybe because of dynamic nature of the people involve in the relationship. If this is the case, then how must trust do one need for a successful relationship?

In one of Frank Crane’s quotes, he said; “You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough”

If someone is in love with you, it means the person feel saves being with you and there’s an increase in his or her trust for you. But you should always remember that, trust do comes with risk, especially the risk of betrayal, yet your positive attitude and optimism concerning your partner’s worthiness of your trust is of great value in other to achieve long lasting relationship.

In this regards, trust does not mean you should completely ignore risk. However, you should not constantly be worrying yourself about it. If you allow your mind to constantly get worried about your partner’s trust, you’re going to have problem in the relationship.

If you want to be happy in the relationship, you should know that, constant suspicious is never going to be compatible with trust and it can jeopardized the relationship you’re trying to build. You just have to be calm and trust enough in other not to live in torment.

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Filed Under: love, MARRIAGE & RELATIONSHIP Tuesday, 5 May 2015 No Comments

9 things mom actually wants on Mother's Day

• 
  Mother's Day might be the most important holiday of the entire year. After all, where would we be without the mothers in our lives? But how do you show such an important woman how much you care for her?
  You'll be hard-pressed to find a mom who's good at talking about things she wants. After all, she's always focused on the needs and desires of everyone else. But after asking around, we've been able to come up with a few things moms actually want for Mother's Day.

• 1. Let her sleep in

  When was the last time the mom in your life got to sleep in? It was probably a time before she was even a mom. On Mother's Day, give her the gift of extra sleep. And to keep the family occupied in the meantime, try making a few of her favorite things for breakfast, pick her a bouquet of wildflowers (or dandelions, as the case may be), and make a big banner that says, "We love you, Mom!"

• 2. Do the chores (without being asked)

  A lot of household chores fall on moms. Day in and day out, they do dishes and laundry, wash windows and toilets, make beds and vacuum floors. On this most special of days, the mom in your life shouldn't have to do any chores. Give her a book and a bar of chocolate and tell her to go take a nap or take a walk while the family takes care of the house. (You might actually have to suggest activities for her to do because once she's alone she won't know what to do with herself.) At least once a year, every mom should get this well-deserved break.
  You score extra points if you get some of the chores done the day before Mother's Day, leaving less work and more family time for the big day itself.

• 3. Treat her to a spa day

  Could the mom in your life use some pampering? In case you didn't know, the answer is always yes. Get her a gift card to her favorite nail salon, make a basket full of her favorite products (lotions, makeup, hand soap, etc.), or enlist the help of the kids in treating to her very own in-home spa treatment (give her a massage, soak her feet in scented water, paint her nails, etc.).

• 4. Create a survival kit

  There are certain things every mom needs in a pinch: hand sanitizer, face wipes, lotion or lip balm, or maybe it's her favorite candy bar or Coke product. Why not make her a survival kit she can turn to in a time of desperate need? Put everything in a jar or plastic container and personalize it according to the mom in your life. If your ideas get too big for a jar, feel free to upgrade to a larger container.

• 5. Frame her favorite photos

  Moms have tons of pictures of their children, but how often do they get around to printing those out and displaying them? It's just one more thing on a to-do list that women never have enough time for. Take a load off your mom's mind and delight her mommy heart by printing and framing a few family photos for her.

• 6. Make a handmade card

  Store-bought cards are lovely, pithy, funny and sweet, but they still can't compare to a sticky, hand-folded card with fingerprint smudges that her child made for her. You can never go wrong with handmade or homemade gifts on Mother's Day.

• 7. "I love you" notes

  Moms know they're loved by the look in their children's eyes and by the touch of their husbands' hands, but they like to have reminders of just how much they're appreciated, too. Challenge yourself to write down as many reasons as you can for why you love or appreciate the mom(s) in your life.
  Then choose a creative way of presenting them to her. Cut them into strips and fill a Mason jar with them. Hide them around the house. Make a collage. Write one reason at the top of every page of a new journal. The presentation doesn't matter as much as what's written on those notes. She's guaranteed to treasure those notes for years to come.

• 8. Tickets for two

  Does your mom or the mother of your children have a passion for a certain band, a theater production or a sports team? Get her a pair of tickets so she can have a night out to do something fun, just for herself, for once. It's always more fun to go with a friend, though, which is why she'll need two tickets.

• 9. Some forethought

  The best Mother's Day gift: evidence that you didn't throw it together last-minute. Moms don't want to be asked the night before, "Was there anything special you wanted tomorrow?" At that point if there was something, it's too late for you to go get it anyway, and now you're basically asking her to plan her own Mother's Day gift or celebrations.
  Start thinking about Mother's Day a good month ahead so you have time to buy or make a gift that truly shows how much you care.
  Cariloha believes every woman deserves luxury on her special day. Seize the moment to spoil her, pamper her and surprise her with some gifts she will really love. Still can't find the right gift? Visit [_Cariloha.com](
  http//bit.ly/CarilohaComfort
  ) for more gift ideas that will make your woman feel the love she truly deserves._

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10 reasons we need mom no matter how old we get

• 
  We sit around the table, listening to the elevator music coming from the television. It is the only thing we use it for now, but because Mom refuses to master Pandora we continue to pay the monthly cable bill. I shuffle the cards and pass them around the table. The game is called "Bohnanza" and you can only play two cards a turn. It is Mom's turn and she lays down three and we all laugh because no matter how many times we explain the game she never gets it (like the time we tried to teach her Mario Kart on the Wii.) She buries her face behind her cards and starts to laugh so hard tears come out.
  These are some of my favorite times with Mom, and it has nothing to do with what music is playing in the background or what game we play. It has everything to do with being with her because she makes life happy. Even when you grow up and move out, get married and become a mom yourself, you never stop needing mom. Here are ten reasons why:

• 1. She listens to you without judging and understands how you feel

  This is perhaps my mom's best quality. She always seems to know when I need to talk, vent and get it out. And her advice never begins with, "I told you so" or "You should have known better."

• 2. She is your best shopping buddy

  Let's face it: No matter how wonderful your husband is, it's more fun trying on jeans with Mom.

• 3. She intuitively knows when you need help

  Even though we claim we can take care of ourselves, Mom always seems to know when we need that extra $20 each month to cover the phone bill.

• 4. She brings you NyQuil, chicken noodle soup and Sprite when you are sick

  But perhaps the best medicine of all is her hug.
  5. She takes you out of school to spend the day at the museum, going to lunch or making cookies.
  My mom believes that being educated is more than sitting at a desk for eight hours. Although an avid supporter of our successful schooling (my dad is a teacher), she knows it doesn't hurt to spend a day together every once in a while.

• 6. She always lets you pick the movie

  She says she'll pick "next time," but "next time" never seems to come.

• 7. She goes out of her way to make you feel special

  Think of the countless birthday parties, school plays and graduation celebrations your mom has organized and supported through the years. Whether it's staying up late to make party decorations or leading the cheering section, you always know who your number one fan is.

• 8. She spends her money coming to visit you

  Even when you live halfway across the country, she's there.

• 9. She is the first on your list to call with news

  Whether you have exciting news like a new job or a pregnancy, or disappointments like a miscarriage or a bad day, sharing with Mom just makes life better.

• 10. She loves you and is always there for you

  When I moved away, what I missed most wasn't the homemade meals or the folded laundry. It was being with Mom and feeling her constant love and support. Friends may be fleeting, but family is constant.
  Some may be reading this right now and feel discouraged. There are women who may not have a close relationship with their mother, or others who do not know who their mother is. Many women are single moms working two jobs, trying to keep their family going.
  No matter the situation, what makes all moms special is that they embody characteristics like peace, support and unconditional love associated with womanhood. By honoring mothers, we are honoring women. Whether it's moms, sisters, aunts, mothers-in-law, stepmothers or close friends, everyone has someone to appreciate.
  Let's take this month to celebrate womanhood and the women who make our lives worth celebrating. Thank you, Mom. I will always need you no matter how old I get.

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9 Foundational truths of relationship

Then when the winds come, the whole fizzle fades away, and the cycle starts again.

Your relationship is like a building. The deeper the foundation, the higher the building will go.

There are some foundational relationship truths most couples overlook. They just see each other and jump in bed, all in the name of love.

Then when the winds come, the whole fizzle fades away, and the cycle starts again.

Here are some foundational relationship truths for you to build your relationship.

1. Effective communication is vital in every relationship. This kind of communication involves listening carefully and decoding what is being said. Giving rapt attention to the speaker. Not to throw your defence after he or she finishes. It involves your body language. Face to face communication cannot be underplayed. Especially in these days where there are a lot of social media platforms.

2. Always put your partner first. Some think it is being foolish. Relationship is about sacrifice. If you are not ready to sacrifice your time and resources, wait till you are grown. This act build trust faster.

3. Get to know each other beyond the cozy environment of the eatery. Ask vital and thought provoking questions, regarding ambitions, future plans and financial goals. Including family background and parental approval.

4. Parental approval is very important. Do not continue with a relationship if your partner’s parents disapprove of. It will hurt you in future.

5. Love is not sex. Delay gratification till the wedding night. It will help you differentiate between love and lust.

6. Read books that will improve your life and relationship. It is all about what you are bringing to the table. Be informed.

7. Have a goal for your marriage and family. What do you want your family to be known for? How many kids do you want to have? What impact will your family make? Money?

8. Show respect to each other. Do not compare.

9. Have a mentor that can counsel both of you. This mentor should also hold you accountable at all times and support you in prayers. He or she should be somebody you respect and honor.

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Filed Under: love, relationship talk Monday, 27 April 2015 No Comments

13 truths to finding your life's calling

• 
  Perhaps one of the biggest challenges in life is discovering your life's calling. Many think that taking a few career assessments will be the panacea, ultimately proclaiming from the highest tower what we are supposed to do or become. Others spend more money than they should in attending every self-help seminar they can find, always seeking but never finding.
  While you can glean much from career assessments and seminars, unfortunately, a "life's calling finder" does not exist. Finding our life's calling emerges from a variety of experiences, good and bad. What we take and learn from these experiences will truly expand and nourish our lives. Our life's calling doesn't necessarily come to us suddenly. Rather, it comes incrementally, and many common truths abound to help us find our life's calling.

• Truth #1: Develop a vision in your life

  We hear this all the time, but it is true. We must develop our path and then move along it, knowing and understanding that it might change. It is important to "see afar" as what you really can achieve.

• Truth #2: Choose well and wisely by setting goals and keeping them

  Once your vision is in place, you need to create goals and objectives that are measurable and ones you can achieve. Once that vision is in place, you are on your way to discovering your life's calling.

• Truth #3: Understand that your ACT and SAT scores will only get you in the door —

  While the ACT, SAT and good grades will help you enter life, it is your hard work and persistence that help you through the tough spots. These challenges in our lives will aid in discovering our life's calling only if we learn from them and apply that learning to enhancing our lives.

• Truth #4: Perform service —

  Serving others creates within us a sense of caring for others. College scholarship applications want to know what service you have done. Some ask what you learned from serving others. Serving others connects us with a portion of what our life's calling is all about: It's not just about us; it's truly about others.

• Truth #5: Understand you are the product of the company you keep—

  If you truly want to find your life's calling, associate with good people who possess the type of values you wish to have. You purposefully develop positive relationships with people to help each other grow and develop.

• Truth #6: Get over yourself —

  A young man once asked a former university president what he should do to be successful. His answer was succinct: "Get over yourself." Inward thinking about ourselves disallows us from caring about others. Often, our life's calling comes from reaching way beyond ourselves to help others. Literally, it widens our view of the whole picture of life.

• Truth #7: Do your homework —

  Your school teachers were right: Homework is important. And this doesn't necessarily mean your tasks while going to school. Doing your homework both in class and out is essential and fundamental in understanding and ultimately knowing what your life's calling should be. We have to do hard things to accomplish the tasks before us. Doing homework helps us maneuver through the morass of the mundane and connect what we don't know to what we know. Doing homework helps us fit together all the pieces.

• Truth #8: Understand that change is inevitable —

  Sometimes our life's calling can change or expand. Understanding that mere fact will save you from a ton of headaches and heartbreaks. Change is not easy; nor is it meant to be. Rather, being the agents of change and helping others along the way will eventually clear our pathway to success.

• Truth #9: Allow for personal and professional growth through lifelong learning —

  Too often, in trying to find our life's calling, we fail to improve both our personal and professional selves. Improving both the personal and professional parts of our lives will help us find our life's calling while simultaneously balancing our lives.

• Truth #10: Be a vigorous, positive participant in everything you do

  Teachers will tell you that students who participate more, learn the most. Sometimes, it is just easier to sit back and let things happen. But being a vigorous participant in life and in your job will show your boss, colleagues, and others that you do want to accept more responsibility.

• Truth #11: Don't make a fuss over small things

  One of the challenges many people face is they see the minutia, focus only on that, and then fail to see the bigger picture. You must keep focused on your goals, the bigger picture. If you don't, you'll never discover your life's calling.

• Truth #12: Seek leadership skills and be a leader in everything you do

  Take note of good leaders: your bosses, co-workers, clergy, a mentor, or anyone you consider a good leader. You will discover that most, if not all, have determined what their life's calling is or are vigorously pursuing it.

• Truth #13: Strive to do your best, your very best

  We must remember that everyone is different, possess varying skill sets, and have a different life's calling. Bill Gates once said, "Don't compare yourself with anyone in this world...if you do so, you are insulting yourself."
  Many times our lives do not end up as we started; nor do they pan out along the way. That is the beauty of finding our life's calling. It literally is a discovery process. Perhaps, gathering these truths through our life's experiences, adhering to them, adopting others and doing the best we can ultimately propel us along our life's path to discover our life's calling.

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Filed Under: love, ROMANCE Thursday, 23 April 2015 No Comments

Is he in love with you? Here are 7 ways you can tell

• 
  One of the greatest feelings a woman can ever have is a man's true love. Though your boyfriend may take time telling you he is in love with you, chances are he already has through his actions. That's what happened to me. I knew my husband was in love with me by the way he paid close attention to all my needs. He genuinely cared to hear about my good days and my bad days. Moreover, I didn't have to ask him to do something for me. He just knew. He loved spending time with my family and me. And he said "I love you" first.
  For the most part, women are quicker at expressing their emotions to their partners; meanwhile, men take a longer time. You may assume that your boyfriend is not in love with you because he has not verbally expressed his feelings or revealed the three words all women love to hear. But take a close look at his gestures, his mannerisms and how he looks at you. The love he has for you is in the tiniest details.
  Here are seven ways you can tell the man you love is in love with you, too.

• Shows interest

  When your boyfriend starts to ask you in-depth questions about your likes, dislikes and future goals, he is in to you. He wants to learn everything about you. He sincerely cares.

• Delicate touches

  He grabs your hand gently during a walk in the park or at a family gathering. He caresses your hair softly. He hugs you for no reason at all. He affectionately touches your face as he stares at you. Sometimes just sitting at home watching a movie and cuddling on the couch speaks volumes.

• Spending time together

  When you find your boyfriend spending less time with his friends and more time with you, he is in love. He is not giving up on his friends; he simply chooses to spend as much time with you as possible. His priorities begin to shift.

• Does anything for you

  He doesn't care what it takes, but he will make anything possible for you. He may not necessarily be interested in the things you are interested in, but he makes the effort to take part. He doesn't mock what brings you joy. Perhaps you love a particular musician, and he doesn't. But he surprises you with two concert tickets – one for you and one for him.

• Meeting his family and friends

  As old-fashioned as this may sound, when a boyfriend introduces the woman in his life to his family and friends, he is serious. He has hopes to take the relationship to another level. His feelings are deeper than you know.

• Talks about marriage and children

  If your boyfriend inquires about your feelings on marriage and children and expresses his thoughts on the matter, chances are he's been thinking about a future with you. And if you both share the same feelings about marriage and creating a beautiful family together, love exists.

• Says those three special words first

  He tells you "I love you" before you do. It doesn't matter when or where he says it. All that matters is that he wants to say it first.
  Again, it's easier for a woman to share her innermost thoughts compare to most men. Many men have a hard time verbalizing their feelings even though they do love you. However, through their positive actions and attentive ways, you will know he is in love. Give him time and you'll hear "I love you."
• credit:mrsmbitsko

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If you wouldn't say it to someone else, why do you say it to yourself?

• You know those mean, nasty, negative little things you say to yourself all day? The ones about your weight, looks or perceived failures that you berate yourself over?
  Now imagine saying those same things out loud toward someone else. Did that change your perspective?
  Several women were asked to write down the thoughts they had about themselves throughout the day in a notebook. Their thoughts were collected and turned into a dialogue between two actresses.
  The original women were asked to come back to have some coffee...where they were about to overhear a conversation between the two actresses--straight from their notebooks:
  
  • You look very drawn today.
    
  • With your little baby teeth, you look like a mouse.
    
  • Your face looks like a bulldog's.
    
  • You've got lines going from your nose down here.
    
  • And you've gotten fatter as well. It's terrible...
    
  • Sit up straight otherwise your belly looks big.
    
  • Your arms are too big, your silhouette is all squished.
    
  • Don't you feel horrible right now? With those large thighs and horse's hips?
    
  • I wish I could see you with a normal body...at least once.
    One woman interrupts. "It's a little harsh what you're saying to her, isn't it?" And then another, "Hey girls, it's very violent to say that. But yes, it's what I say to myself all day long. Now, I get how violent it is!"
    
  The video concludes, "If it's not acceptable to say it to someone else, why say it to ourselves?"
  The dialogue we offer ourselves is often the most harsh and critical thoughts we have throughout the day. The negativity seems relentless, yet, we believe it without question. We need to stop the thoughts, "I'm too fat/thin," "I can't..." "I wish I were prettier/smarter/more talented." These thoughts damage only us and we don't deserve them.
  Equally horrible, do you want your daughters, granddaughters, sisters, nieces or friends thinking this way about themselves? Would you even allow them or someone else to say something so horrid?
  Stopping the negative self-talk is vital. Read this article about "fat talk." Also, see what happens when women in different cities have to choose average or beautiful.
  

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Filed Under: Inspirational, love Monday, 20 April 2015 No Comments

8 silent ways your hubby is screaming 'I love you!'

• Husbands get a bad rap for their inability to express themselves, especially when it comes to saying those three simple words: "I love you." Your husband may tell you he loves you as he's leaving for work or before he says good night, but sudden, spur-of-the-moment expressions of his most inner romantic feelings are not something a man shares on a regular basis. Believe it or not, sharing delicate emotions just isn't a common characteristic of the average male.
  Wives, don't let your husbands' lack of words discourage you. While words are very important, expressions of love aren't always given aloud. When your hubby's lips are silent, he screams "I love you" in the things he does for you. Some of his actions are easy to dismiss because they are small and simple, but when you look at them from his perspective, you'll see the sacrifice he's really making. Here are eight ways your husband is screaming he loves you — and you might be missing them.

• He lets you choose

  If you go out to the movies and your husband lets you choose the movie, he is letting you know that what you want is important to him. Similarly, if he lets you choose dinner, the color of your next car, the destination of your next vacation ... he is telling you — very loudly — that he loves you and that you matter to him.

• He helps out around the house

  When my husband comes home after a long day at work and pitches in to help me finish dinner and do the dishes, I know he is saying "I love you." I have seen him mop the floors, scrub the toilet, organize the pantry, fold my personal laundry and complete a honey-do list a mile long — all in the name of love. If your husband helps around the house, he doesn't do it out of duty or to show off to his friends. He does it because he knows it will lessen your load.

• He asks for your advice

  When your husband asks for your advice, not only is he telling you that he loves you but he is also telling you that he trusts you to give him guidance. It is difficult for many men to open up and ask others for help, so if your man has come to you seeking advice, feel honored, trusted and very much loved. He has placed you in a very small circle of people whom he feels he can open up to. In essence, he is saying, "I love you, and I know I can open up to you without fear of judgment."

• He holds your hand

  Whether out in public or home alone, when your man holds your hand, he is saying "I love you." Holding hands is a simple expression of genuine love. It is physical touch without sexual innuendo. It is love in its simplest form. It is the quickest and easiest action your husband can do to express the feelings he has in his heart.

• He helps with the shopping

  Whether he's shopping by your side or picking something up on the way home, if your husband is willing to shop til' he drops, he is saying "I love you." I used to always ask my husband to stop by the store on the way home, and because he was always willing to do it, I never really thought about the sacrifice he was making. Only recently did I discover that my husband doesn't really like grocery shopping, that he only does it because he loves me and knows I don't like grocery shopping either. If your husband is willing to help you do the things you don't like to do (especially when he's not so fond of those things himself), he is practically screaming his affection.

• He listens to your frustrations

  I'm just going to say it. The majority of women have a lot they like to complain about (myself included). If your husband is willing listen to your frustrations — and even offer encouragement — he is really saying "I love you." A man who is willing to sit and listen, especially when he has heard the same complaint over and over again, should certainly be recognized.

• He smiles at you

  A smile, like holding hands, is such a simple gesture, but it speaks volumes. A simple, sincere smile has the power to take a woman's breath away. Remember when you first met your husband — how his smile affected you. Keep that memory close because, each time your hubby smiles at you, he reaffirms every loving word he's ever said to you. Not only does that sincere smile say "I love you," it says, "You make me happy."

• He gives you a piece of himself

  Whether it's a compliment, a gift he's purchased or a loving glance, when your husband takes the time to give you something that has come directly from him, he is saying "I love you." Even when he gives you a gift that is completely off the mark, the act of giving shows that you are on his mind.
  The words may not always be said, but if you listen with your eyes, you'll find that your husband is screaming "I love you."

credit:familyshare

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Filed Under: love, Marriage, relationship talk Sunday, 19 April 2015 No Comments